F. Stone Roberts named his company If You Shave You’re Fired Productions, and appropriately, he shows up for an interview with a swank ’70s-style Fu Manchu mustache. Roberts’ gem of a short, Splitting Hairs, follows the follicular follies of a group of overly-committed men at the World Beard and Mustache Competition in Germany.

More than just the “eye candy” that first drew Roberts’ attention, the film pits super-mustacheoed Bruce Roe and his Whisker Club against mega-bearded Phil Olsen and Beard Team USA. Roe is the more organized—to the point of being a control freak, extending even to trying to dictate shots to the camera crew. Olsen is more anything-goes, though given to jingoistic proclamations such as, “There is no more important or patriotic endeavor than to support the United States of America at the World Beard and Mustache Championships,” and leading “USA! USA!” chants among the gentle beardos of other lands.

225 people from 20 countries attend to compete in 17 different categories — 4 goatee, 8 mustache, 5 full — with the looks ranging from Buffalo Bill to Kaiser Wilhelm to the Unabomber. Costumes play an increasing role, allowing opportunities for wannabe pirates, Civil War reenactors, and lonesome cowboys.

Olsen shares a truism about living the bearded life — you become recognized for your hair rather than your face. “They remember me because of the beard but I don’t remember them,” he says. I, with my stylish goatee, know this experience.

Splitting Hairs screens Wednesday at 10:30 p.m. at the Roundhouse Theater. Phil Olsen will be on hand to lead a Beard and Mustache Contest following the film.

In these two audio interviews, Stone Roberts discusses how he came to spend seven years on this project and offer stories that ended up on the cutting room floor.

Part One (6 min.):

Part Two (4 min.):

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