When the children of the future ask us, “What did you do during the Pandemic?” this important film provides the answer. You’re welcome.
Author Archives: Nutco
I’m On a Podcast!
I was delighted to be a guest on Jason Klamm‘s fascinating podcast about the world of film extras, The Professional Blur. We talked about me sneaking onto the set of Airport 75, almost killing the president in a made-for-TV miniseries, and being cut out of the first Spider-Man movie by my good friend Sam Raimi (pictured). Among many other topics.
Ode to the Uptown
On March 13, 2020, America woke to the horrible news–no, not that horrible news, the news that the fabled Uptown Theater was closing. In fact, it was already closed. In the middle of everything else going wrong, this hits me hard.
A 1936 Art Deco palace, the Uptown building is still owned by the Pedas family; brothers, Ted and Jim ran the equally-cherished Circle Theater, which they built into a local powerhouse chain of 22 theaters, including the Uptown. So, while the landlord is sympathetic to the public’s outcry, that is no guarantee that the place will come back.
Indeed, Josh Levin, who rescued the plucky West End Cinema from the Cineplex Odeon chain (which had gobbled up Circle Theaters and was then gobbled up by current Uptown owner AMC Theaters) before having to give in to market realities, posted a thoughtfully pessimistic analysis on Facebook, delineating the many obstacles standing in the way of reopening the Uptown as a successful movie venue:
It’s a single-screen theater
Needs equipment, seating, and concession upgrades
It’s a single-screen theater
Probably needs to become a community nonprofit
It’s a single-screen theater
Probably needs a liquor license
It’s a single-screen theater
Repeat
Yeah, that single screen is 70-feet-by-40-feet, but apparently watching movies on your phone is a thing. Still, there is a Change.org petition going around to try to save the place. I signed.
And with so many memories wrapped up in that theater, I made this video appreciation. Enjoy.
Express is Dead! Long Live Expresso!
So the Washington Post has finally stopped printing its weekday tabloid, Express, a mere 16 years after I tried to get them to give up on such a bad idea. In fact, I was so sure Express was foolish that I created a same-day-of-publication parody, Expresso, which was distributed at Metro stops right alongside the Post‘s confused hawkers. That is, I had the great help of the Washington City Paper staff, and its publisher, Jane Levine, who agreed to throw more than $10,000 at a fairly juvenile gag.
The inspiration for publicly mocking the Paper of Record came after reading the Post‘s article announcing why they decided to create the thing. Editors had noticed that half of Metro riders weren’t reading a newspaper. Their conclusion: That’s our market! My smug response from my breakfast table: No, those are the people you’ve already lost!
The Post seemed intent on creating a newspaper for people with no interest in reading newspapers. So I came up with the concept of “a paper for people who don’t like to read,” and the tagline: “Half the Content. Twice as Free!” And pretty much wrote all the content-free content, which was largely listicles, before that became a thing. Also took the photos of willing co-workers pretending to be goofs.
At the time, I was City Paper‘s Webmeister, in charge of its online music site, among other tasks. In addition to disliking the idea of what I perceived to be a dumbed-down news product — and note: I was also against the equally simplistic USA Today when it first appeared — part of my reaction against Express came from the fact that the mighty Post was marching into City Paper‘s territory, the free paper. In fact, Express’ initial rate card did undercut City Paper. I was not only opposed to Express on pretentious grounds, but also it was a real threat to my livelihood.
We printed 25,000 copies, I believe, along with bright yellow Expresso T-shirts for staffers to wear that morning at Metro stations around town. And we continued the joke by creating a website, u-love-expresso.com, which went to a gotcha page and then to City Paper‘s homepage. For all of this we won a “Format Buster” award from the Association of Alternative Newspapers.
Side note, as I was giving away copies at the Silver Spring Metro that morning, an older gentleman slowly walked up and, with a sad face, corrected me: “It’s espresso.”
Going Deep With “Shallow”
Would you like 300 cover versions of the song Shallow from the film A Star Is Born? Of course you would. After exhaustive and exhausting research, I’m proud to present this list of some — repeat, some — of the too many cover versions of this Oscar-worthy tune, performed in the film by the Oscar-worthy Bradley Cooper and the Oscar-worthy Lady Gaga. Many of these renditions rival the quality and emotional resonance of the film version. Many do not. Some have thousands of views; others low single digits. Some are just inexplicable. Enjoy this time-suck. You’re welcome.
- Alyssa Shouse
- Allie Sherlock
- Moniqué, Justinas Jarutis
- Brian Justin Crum
- Jess & Matt
- The JLP Show
- Kurt Hugo Schneider
- Cimorelli
- Mackenzie Johnson
- Lynnea M.
- Flavie Léa
- Angela Vazquez
- Lewis Capaldi
- Alexander Stewart
- AJ Rafael ft. Shoshana Bean
- Fran Coem & Andrea Guasch
- Cheska
- Lyrical Jazz’s choreography of Cheska cover of Shallow
- Fran Lopez
- Sonny & Hannah Grace
- Cody & Lexy
- Emma Heesters
- The Marlows
- David Alvareeezy & Alex Aiono
- Greg Gontier
- Kingdom Street
- Maria Demian
- Sophia Scott
- Sam Woolf
- Nguyen Kien
- Madysyn Rose Cover Ft. Tyler Ward
- New Hope Club
- Lyam Neal
- Sam Mangubat ft. Gidget dela Llana
- Always Alessandra
- funtwo
- Ben Siskin
- Valerie Varela
- Tayla Mae
- Rajiv Dhall
- Leadley
- Lawrence Park & Ali Brustofski
- The Light Parade
- Sofía y Ander
- Žan Sercic & Sara Lamprecnik
- Melissa Y Eureka
- Hannah Alex
- Della Firdatia ft. Felix
- Victoria Skie
- Cheryl K
- Jasmine Clarke
- Konah Raynes
- Luiza Gattai
- Sophie Pecora
- Melissa Walker
- Fatma Rizaldi
- Lisa Onuoha
- Chase Fouraker & Lena Stone
- Gabriela Toklowicz
- Casi Joy
- Jake Mackay
- Davi Music Official
- Arlene Zelina & Printz Board
- Renn Miko & Ashira
- Peter Gergely
- Toni Pirosa
- Voncken
- Luis Busho / Monsster Holland
- Robert Grace
- Eduard Freixa
- Kevin & Karla
- Musicality
- Carla Laubalo y Claupasal
- Heru Lee
- FLYGHTS
- Valentin YOMBA
- Kyle Meagher and Dalila Bela
- Demi van Wijngaarden
- Alexander Stewart
- Kitty Kathusky
- Sydney Simpson
- Fiddlerman
- Liv Bevan
- Break Out The Crazy
- Siren Gene
- Madu Hisaoka
- Jake Davey & Kylie Jane
- Steph La Rochelle
- Andres Colin & Kindred
- Bella River
- Mario Spinetti
- Fun Factory TV
- Evynne Hollens & Peter Hollens
- Francesco Parrino
- Ethan
- Lily Schub
- Ellina Styliadou
- Yuval Salomon
- Denis Kalytovskyi
- Camelia Crisan & Titus Homei
- Ben Woodward
- Ben Platt
- Gabriela Toklowicz
- Nanda Pratiwy ft. Troy
- Alex Kautz
- Maria Pina Cavezza ft Claudio
- Maíra Amorim
- Josh Lewis
- Katharina Schwerk & Guillermo Campoy
- Justin Capps and The Cavaliers ft. Erin Newman
- Yasam Chyne
- Lloyd Griffiths
- Halyss & Marina Odessa
- Šárka Tonarová feat Cory Smallegan
- Jaune Papillon
- Hannah Hobbs
- Brooklyn Duo – cello and piano
- Zoe Moreton
- Axelle Thays
- Omar Afuni
- Evi Christina, Liset Michel & Silvester Pool
- Abby and Sarah
- The Lars
- Nika Zorjan
- Julia Carlile // merseygirls
- Jimena Amor y Álvaro Hdez
- Emeline
- Shelley Mill
- Charlee Polidano
- Signe goffygang
- Logan Alexandra
- Amy Astrid
- Rei Cover Videos
- Jerry & Yuki
- Georgia Box
- Dani Octa
- Morgan Mattheis
- Aaron Odell
- Luke Moskowitz
- Jahne Dreams Jesse Linn
- The Oceanic Aria
- John Buckley
- Danny Rey
- Suzanne Samson
- Charlotte Hannah
- Jon Pumper
- Line Gosselin
- Trent Bell
- Katia
- Kfir Ochaion
- Gara González
- Alec Chambers
- Zainab Darong
- Sup I’m Bianca
- Maximedro
- Giselle Rivera
- Cecilia Pascal
- Cherry Lita
- Deborah Ghiddi
- Megan Tara
- Alexis Pinney
- Macià Pallarès Pallarès
- Abigail Frances
- Chiara Cami
- Taylor Duarte
- Gary C
- Jackie Foster
- Beth O’Reilly
- BTWN US
- Alessandra Patané, Salvatore Alderuccio
- Nischal Nepal
- Harmonie London
- KarLita Dinni Kadiin
- Wesley Li
- ELISKA + Martin Cisar
- Jon G.
- Kolton Stewart and Abigail Winter
- Malgowski Michel
- Marko The Piano Man
- heather_xoxo _101
- Chad Graham Feat. Fallon Graham
- Joyful Luisa
- Léo Quentin
- Amir Brandon
- Alison Sparrow
- Cerita Nusantara
- Thomas and Audrey NVH
- Ania Deko & Grzegorz Hyzy
- Toni Pirosa
- Itcho Pcelár
- Little Lyrebird
- Dylan Fraser
- Bagus Cahya Wibawa
- Sara Bentes
- Omar Chirinos
- Mandy Dickson
- Adriana Colón
- Fabiana Sousa
- Will Faust
- Sophie Hastings
- michiamberg
- Jonathan Tilkin
- Disney65Fan
- Micle’s Piano
- BALÉ_TV
- Nayara Portela
- Brae Cala
- Andrey Sado & Yuliya Dementyeva & Damien Safronov
- Saskia Eng
- Fergie Lian
- Lina Frances Music
- Jamie LeRose
- Frank Cotty
- Hannah Adams
- Mark Fantasia
- David Stanyer
- Kaiennenhawi Cross
- Melissa Martin & Alex Grenier
- Laís Araújo
- swiftcovers
- Evan & Mary-Jane
- Ana Horvat & Dino Antonic
- Larve Limbagan
- Vi Franks
- we winqa
- Natalie & Chloe Music
- Emily Price
- Elliott
- Erica Lazo
- Matthew Lin
- Celine Norambuena
- George Cisneros
- Alexandre Gallet & Inès Serra
- Ari Nao
- Victoria Anthony Music
- Iva Curic
- Thames Band
- Michelle Vinic
- Davina Michelle
- Amelia Rosa Butterworth
- AMÉ
- Steph Willis
- Bruno Araujo
- Matty Queen Bee
- Maddison Mian
- Bree Lenehan
- Julia Omelko
- munyehkels
- Tyler Costin and Siena Streiber
- Emily Summers and Leo Luck
- Ria Ritchie
- JD Larsen
- Ellen Dowse (Elliott Dowse)
- Maria Laroco
- David Calabrés
- Osher
- Aine Carroll
- Allie Sealey
- Giuseppe de Simone e Claudia Irto
- Jett Blyton
- Emma Jayne
- harmonyjo
- Aimee Music Official
- Dalton Russell
- Riyandi Kusuma
- Chandler Berardi
- Amanda Defacendis
- Rapluvi
- Jonash
- It’s Alex
- Adelia Mahaffee
- Junior Paez
- Dani Octa
- Anastasia Papas
- Daphne Snow
- Yoel Sanchez
- Simon James
- Claire Rxse
- EKA SPS
- Zoe Alexander
- Paulene May
- Lynsay Ryan
- Arno K
- Sergio Tur
- Lise DARLY
- Spence Cater
- Yazmin Aziz
- Savannah Van
- Oly Green
- Yahto Kraft
- Daphné R.
- Christian Oscarsson
- Marisol Luna
- OMJamie
- Daniel Alkato
- SeriouslyChris
- Darien Bernard
- Caitlin Simone & Lloyd Snyder
- Elle Smarzinski
- Wanderson Prudencio oficial
And of course, this:
Loco in MoCo
Please enjoy this Q&A I did with the prolific author Mike Sacks (I reviewed him here and here) about his latest literary outrage, Randy: The Full and Complete Unedited Biography and Memoir of the Amazing Life and Times of Randy S.!
Sacks claims that the book is a “self-published memoir of a thirty-something from Maryland found by me at a garage sale and that’s being re-published ‘as is.'” As the interview reveals, the work is really a vulgarly heartfelt homage to Maryland — largely Montgomery County — from a native son who strayed far from home.
One may also follow “Randy” on Twitter at @RandyIsDaMan, where the occasional reward is witnessing Randy’s Twitter feuds with the likes of Justine Bateman. What a world.
Maryland Native Mike Sacks’s New Novel Is The Most Montgomery County Thing Ever
Siri Won’t Save Us. Neither Will Alexa.
From the Luddite Corner, here’s my Exhibit A in the case of Old Man vs. Clouds. No matter how much music Amazon, Spotify, iTunes, and Pandora say they have, there is a lot that isn’t available, and may never be. Don’t believe the hype.
For Whom the Belmont Tolls
Happy to have my first byline in Washingtonian magazine, an oral history of the Belmont TV jingle (“Whatever you want, think Belmont!”)
This extends my previous trifecta with Washingtonian. For several years, my band played the magazine’s annual “Best & Worst” gala, a swanky soiree based on its issue celebrating and castigating what the editors considered the high and low points of D.C. culture. The live event featured only the high points, where “Best” winners, mostly restaurants, were invited to host a booth and offer their wares. My band, I should note, was certainly not the best in D.C. Not sure how we got the gig, but they were usually fun.
As for low points, my group, Travesty Films, was once named the “Best Vanity Project” for our crowd-pleasing though admittedly low-brow comedy films. Thanks, I guess.
And then one year I was invited to be a judge for the Best & Worst issue, lending my expertise to the category of Best Movie Theater Popcorn. Arch Campbell was also a judge. We set up at the Uptown Theater to sample the snacks, including some microwave popcorn, which I didn’t think should have qualified. I can’t remember who we gave the prize to, but I recall being underwhelmed by all the options. For the record, the best movie popcorn was at the old Cineplex Odeon Wisconsin Avenue, which proudly boasted real butter — until the scolds at the Center for Science in the Public Interest released a “study” that declared buttered popcorn to be a health hazard. Cineplex countered with a statement pointing out that most Americans only go to the movies a few times a year and thus were hardly in danger of contracting heart disease from the multiplex. And then the company caved and changed the recipe to the same dreck as everyone else. Thanks, “science”!
As is often the case in journalism, one learns as much about oneself as the subject of one’s article. Though I’d been listening to the jingle for its entire 40-year history, I didn’t realize until I made the calls that I knew everyone in the band: Pete Kennedy on guitar, Shannon Ford on drums, high school classmate the late, lamented Wade Matthews on bass, and Jon Carroll and Margot Chapman on vocals.
Anyway, the article was fun to do. I got to use my clever Olympus TP-8 Telephone Pick-up Microphone, which I picked up after learning that Ryan Lizza used one to record his insane conversation with disgraced political nutjob Anthony Scaramucci.
Click the link to get the earworm stuck in your head all over again. You’re welcome.
R.I.P Dick Gregory
I had the honor of interviewing Dick Gregory for WPFW radio in 2008. Basically, I said “Hello,” and he pretty much filled the next hour with wonderful anecdotes of his pioneering days in comedy and philosophical stories on all manner of subjects. Gregory was a very sweet fellow in person, happy to pose for a photo with some random white dude. The interview was for a pledge drive and the goal was met, for which I can take no credit.
Gregory’s importance in comedy cannot be overstated. Follow Kliph Nesteroff on Twitter; he has been posting amazing stories about and pictures of Gregory for the last couple days. Nesteroff is the author of the essential book, The Comedians: Drunks, Thieves, Scoundrels & the History of American Comedy, and clearly can see into the future as well as the past.
Here is the Washington Post‘s excellent obit.
Inside the Nuttycombe Archives