Ted Headman's Christmas
Chapter Ten: The Inferno
Copyright © Over Productions. All Rights Reserved."Help!" Ted screamed at the top of his lungs. "Someone please help me!"
"I’ll help you," muttered Mr. Headman as he pulled himself from the wreckage that had once housed his gardening equipment. He wielded a huge axe. "I’ll help your heathen soul reach the eternal damnation that it so richly deserves!"
Jacob Headman realized that without his help Ted would cease to be his living, breathing, only son and become nothing more than a charred carcass. And he couldn’t wait!
He approached the flaming tree, spit on his hands and began to hack away at the trunk.
"Stop it, Dad, you stupid jerk-off!" cried Ted, now visibly concerned for his safety. The attack on the tree continued. "Come on, Dad, be reasonable. We didn’t always hate each other..."
"Satan-bait!" roared Mr. Headman as the burning tree began to creak and lean toward the house.
"Mom! Make him stop!" cried Ted in desperation.
In his frenzied righteousness, Jacob Headman misjudged the angle at which he was chopping the burning tree. It crashed through the roof of the addition, setting the house on fire.
As it fell, flaming twigs and branches were flung from the tree into the hair and clothing of the fleeing Mr. Headman. Soon, like his home, he was gloriously ablaze.
Ted, not as clever as the squirrels and starlings, had not thought to leap from the burning tree and was thrown through the carport roof, landing on the cold pavement of the driveway with a severe, loud thwack!
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